Thread: Pass the NGO please...Sunday Rant

Got invited to dinner last week to meet some of my prospective new neighbours by a gentleman that has lived on the island for about 20 years and seems to be very involved in doing "good" and "local causes".

Now all of these people were very pleasant, middle to late middle aged and several were accompanied by their Balinese partners and I would say that all of them seemed to be what I would call "rich". Not in an Indonesian sort of way but really, rich - if you can spend a couple of months staying in the Alila Hotel you aint poor, least wise not until you've paid your bill.

After all the veggy food was cleared away (the only animals in sight were us) it got down to business, which was organising NGOs and having committees and organizing the locals to right all the wrongs in Bali.

At one point it was suggested that we organize something to bring attention to the build up of plastic in the environment and to raise public awareness about the subject, etc. etc.
blah de, fecking blah, blah.

It was probably at that stage I scotched any future invites by suggesting that if they wanted to do something about the plastic in Bali they should get a f*cking cloth bag and go out and pick some of that shit up! And keep right on picking it up until the plastic disappeared, the locals got the idea or they just up and died.

Now I realize that these people do mean well but when it was suggested in reply to my idea that the Balinese would not like this if we (Bule) were to just start cleaning up their island - I almost lost it and if I would have had the energy I would have throttled him, happily - but due to the low calorie veggy fair I just managed to raise one finger.

It was then truly opined that we could all go down to the local village hall, Adat, council build and demonstrate with placards. Now you just have to let this vision slowly melt on your mental tongue; 10 or so large, old, pink, bule walking up and down in front of some office in Denpasar or Amlampur, sweat pouring off them, with "Down with Plastic" or "Up with Education" or "Stop Corruption". If it was near any roads it would kill droves of passing motorcyclists - from laughter :lol:

At this stage it was generally agreed that "the Balinese" are unhygienic, lazy, stupid and don't appreciate the beauty they live in and that only we are able to save them, as it where, from themselves. Not in so many words of course but couched in Western "speak". Now all this was going on with 2 Balinese right there at the table! :oops: Needless to say they were never questioned as to their advice - we do know best, don't we?

Now if there's one thing we must have all learned by now it's that if you persist in calling the local people lazy, stupid, dirty, etc. they will eventually wrap a towel around their heads and blow you the feck up. :evil:

So, children, the moral of my story today is that if you want to change anything on this wonderful island get off your dead ass and do it. Don't form a fecking committee or chair a meeting just put your own hand out and do it. Oh, and don't talk about the local people as if they weren't there, didn't understand you or don't matter - in the same breath while you are trying to "help" them.

Johnny or Phil, whichever it is, next time you run across (figuratively of course) any 9 year old motorcycle maniacs I suggest, if you truly believe what you wrote, you should get out of your car or off your bike and stop the children. Remove the ignition key from their bike and give them your business card pointing out that if they want their ignition key back their father can come over to your house and pick it up - where upon you have the golden opportunity to explain to him personally the error of his ways. "Somebody should do something!" "Somebody" is us!