What would you do...?

[MiSO]

I don't want to get involved in these things, but I can't ignore this one.

I had a chit chat with the manager (woman, 32) of a massagesalon I've been visiting last month. And she told me she has blood in her urine for almost 2 weeks. No pain though. I asked her if she had seen the doctor. She had tried to, but the doc (gynaecologist) had no time to see her, so she stopped trying.
I thought it was a bit strange, because I can't imagine that the gyna's schedule is that busy, but okay, I kept it open as I don't know how things work here.

I have been google-ing about this, and it can have different causes, innocent ones but it also could be a tumor. I am not going to tell her about this of course, but I really think she has to go to the doctor.

I don't know if she is lying about the situation, if she has a hidden motive for telling me this.
But I also don't want to hear in 2011 that she died because she neglected her health.
Where begins my responsability and where does it end...?

What would you do?

Thanks in advance.

[jokko]

strange question......

[ronb]

I think you should probably try and help a bit. That could be time as well as money if you offer to go with her. But have in your mind a definite upper limit on how much - particularly on the money side.

[mat]

Personally, I would insist that she accompanied me to the doctor. I would offer to pay for the original consultation and take it from there.

[timdog]

Quite straightforward, and more or less as said above.

IF - and it should be a big if - you decide to help then you should take her in person to a doctor entirely of your choosing, and accompany her for the examination throughout. For a local person to see a gynecologist in a "good", upmarket private hospital in Indonesia and to have an ultrasound should cost no more than Rp200,000 total - and you should be able to see the gynecologist in such a place on the day, at short notice.
If you decide to suggest this, and if there's the slightest reluctance from her to go to the doctor you want her to go to, then walk away and think nothing more of it.

You do, however, need to think carefully before you even do this, and set some potential boundaries for yourself in advance. What if she really is ill? Are you going to commit to meeting all her (potentially very high) medical costs down the line? Or if you are not prepared to do so, do you really want to place yourself in the position of having got her to the point of diagnosis and then bailing out?
Finally, think about how well you really know this woman, what is she really to you, and if your masseuse in "the West" happened to confide such a thing to you over a foot-rub, would you honestly feel the responsibility to do anything more than say "I would get that checked out if I were you..." ?

[lumumba]

the manager (woman, 32)

Maybe not rich but not even poor and for local an examination don't cost that much

Had no time to see her, so she stopped trying.

Can go to see a different one

I don't know if she is lying about the situation

I would let her get on with it, but tell her what I/you found out on internet

[tintin]

I agree with the comments you received on your post. Actually, for blood in the urine, you need to see a urologist, not a gynaeco.

[Jimbo]

It is impossible to help all so should you just help one. Yes you should but not by giving money. Take her to a doctor yourself is good advice.

[begonia]

strange question......

To me is more strange the answer of the woman!!!!!!!!!

She had tried to, but the doc (gynaecologist) had no time to see her, so she stopped trying.

uhhhhhhhhhhh do you think there is only one gynaecologist in Bali??? one of the things have surprise me since I arrived in Bali the first time is to see clinics, hospitals and tempat practek everywhere in Bali!!!!!!!!! there is so many many doctors everywhere!!!
And what means the doctor has not time to see her???????????? how she can say that??? (sometimes balinese are so funny people.....that does not make sense....) you go to the place, sometimes take a number or write your name, wait and see the doctor and pay, it is all and simple (seen a doctor could be around 60.000 Rp).
Maybe she is the one has not time to go?????????? what she did really try? what she has done really so far?
Of course she knows more places to go, another thing is maybe she doesn´t think is that important or she is not as worry as you are, and maybe here is where you could help her, maybe not paying, not going with her (that depend how attach are you to her) but making her understand that she should see a doctor as soon as possible and not leave it, to make her to understand that something must be done quick because she has a health problem and could be deteriored, from that is just up to her...................
Western people and balinese people has different ways to reacts to situations, I would react like you Miso, sooooooo worry go to the doctor right away, get into google to get as much information I can get and sort it out as soon as possible, balinese sometimes takes everything easier even health problems..........
Have a good week!!

[Jesse]

Maybe accompanying her to a public clinic would be start. Most public clinics at least make some accurate diagnosis for that kind of symptoms.