Strategies for Connecting with other Expats

[Rob]

Hello, everyone. This is my first post, so a brief into. I am an American guy in a same-sex marriage (12 years now!) with a fabulous Indonesian guy. My spouse wants to have a place in Bali (maybe Ubud area) and spend lots of time there. I'm intrigued by the idea but wonder what life on a day to day basis might be like. In particular, I wonder how easy it is to meet and make friends with other expats. How do you all get to know each other?

I also wonder about how open the Balinese people are to expats. It makes no sense to me to live in Bali and not try to forge good friendships with Balinese neighbors. Do they keep the expat residents at arms length, or are genuine friendships with the Balinese possible?

Thanks!

[ronb]

Welcome Rob! It is easy to meet ex-pats since they are mostly willing to stop and chat. Balinese people are usually polite and friendly, and a few become very good friends - for me that's mostly those with reasonable English since my Indonesian is very poor. As a bystander, I can sometimes see antagonism between some local people and some ex-pats - and if you scan the archives of this forum you will find some stories of problems between ex-pats and locals.

I have found our local Rotary Club to be a good way of building a network of friends as well as getting involved in useful projects like beach cleanups and AIDS awareness. In Australia, I was never interested in Rotary as my perception was that they were pompous old men - possibly my perception was wrong. Anyhow, here it's not like that. Our club web-site is http://rotary-bali-logina.org. One of my activities is maintaining this web-site There are 2 clubs in Ubud - Rotary Club Ubud and Rotary Club Bali Ubud Sunset. There are more clubs in Sanur, Seminyak, Kuta, Denpasar, Nusa Dua etc. Some clubs are mainly English speaking, some Indonesian speaking and some seem mixed.

[spicyayam]

It's very easy to meet people (both expats and locals) here, whether you are standing in line at the post office or shopping at Hardys. Joining clubs as Ron suggests is another way and of course you can get to know people through this site.

It really depends on your interests and what you like to do. If you like going out drinking, I sure you can find many drinking buddies.

One of things that I have always liked about living overseas is the different people you meet, that you otherwise probably wouldn't come across if you were living in your home country.

[pollyanna]

Hello, everyone. This is my first post, so a brief into. I am an American guy in a same-sex marriage (12 years now!) with a fabulous Indonesian guy. My spouse wants to have a place in Bali (maybe Ubud area) and spend lots of time there. I'm intrigued by the idea but wonder what life on a day to day basis might be like. In particular, I wonder how easy it is to meet and make friends with other expats. How do you all get to know each other?

I also wonder about how open the Balinese people are to expats. It makes no sense to me to live in Bali and not try to forge good friendships with Balinese neighbors. Do they keep the expat residents at arms length, or are genuine friendships with the Balinese possible?

Thanks!

Welcome to the BaliPod forum, Rob and you've just "met" your first expats. Here we are, BaliPodians! You'll be attracted to some more than others just like real life.

We live in the Ubud area and are happy to meet but you may find we're older than you if you're looking for younger people to hang out with. We recently moved here to retire and are building a house about 15 minutes south of Ubud. Right now we're living in Pengosekan, an area in Ubud.

We haven't made any particular efforts to meet expats but I'm sure we could if we tried. There are some areas where they tend to congregate and many of us can give you helpful information when you get here about where to go.

The Balinese (in my experience) are open to all people who are respectful and friendly. You've never seen as many smiles and relaxed people as you'll find here. And you can definitely make some true friendships with the Balinese.

Come on Down!!

[Jimbo]

As a matter of interest how do the Balinese react to homosexual couples?

[ronb]

As a matter of interest how do the Balinese react to homosexual couples?

I guess there two parts to an answer:

1. with visitors to Bali there is no problem - the Balinese are generally welcoming to foreigners and are not bothered by many different customs and preferences

2. for locals they are not so accepting at the family and village levels - see, for example the story of Sisca who has founded a group for gays and transvestites in Singaraja
Sisca D. Panngabean, Founder War?gas Singaraja, on Gay rights

[mobilemama]

As a matter of interest how do the Balinese react to homosexual couples?

in tourist and expat areas all seems fine as many gay indonesians are in relationships in these areas, however all our balinese and indo friends tell us they are not welcome in the local villages, even if they come from there, balinese parents get disappointed as there are no children to look after them in old age. I only know one balinese family who acept this situation and them not easily.

The balinese have many rude jokes about boy/girls too so I guess its the same as the rest of the world, maybe slightly less education about homosexuality, but if you live in the expat areas you'll find there are many other couples like who who are totally accepted by the vast majority.

welcome to the forum and bali its a great place to live.

[Crystal]

Hello, everyone. This is my first post, so a brief into. I am an American guy in a same-sex marriage (12 years now!) with a fabulous Indonesian guy. My spouse wants to have a place in Bali (maybe Ubud area) and spend lots of time there. I'm intrigued by the idea but wonder what life on a day to day basis might be like. In particular, I wonder how easy it is to meet and make friends with other expats. How do you all get to know each other?

I also wonder about how open the Balinese people are to expats. It makes no sense to me to live in Bali and not try to forge good friendships with Balinese neighbors. Do they keep the expat residents at arms length, or are genuine friendships with the Balinese possible?

Thanks!

They are WAY friendly and the same sex marriage is no biggie at all! In fact Balinese are open minded and welcoming to all expats, least I thought so.

[Rob]

Thank you for your replies to my post. I appreciate it!

To those of you who emailed me privately...I will reply once I get up to 10 posts. The system does not give me reply priviledges at this time.